Sry I called you an 8
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
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He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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