just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.