those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.