Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow