How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
