"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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