Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
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I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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