He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
