you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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