I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
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ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.