God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing