It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.