I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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