oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
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You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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