I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
