I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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