after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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