Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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