Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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