Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize