she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize