My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sobbing to NWA
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
