i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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