In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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