I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
