i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize