Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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