Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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