problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
