just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
