Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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