This girl is more easily done than said...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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