Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it