Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina