Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay