i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have