My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...