Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Watching her eat just hurts me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here