What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
