CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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