is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize