I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize