So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.