I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?