This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!