I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.