I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.