It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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