How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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