i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
