i barfeds in our rink
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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