I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
