i permit you to call me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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