so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
