I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
