i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am available for nakedness
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize