Just fell off a train. Bad.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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