eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?