I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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