I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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