Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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