32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
