fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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