So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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